Nope, not this time!!!
When you are a sex blogger, or at least pretend to be once a month like I do, toy companies occasionally try to send you toys for free in hopes that you will do a review for them. I finally agreed to do a toy review for Adult Toys and chose a lovely cute little anal toy that matched my lunch box. And by lunch box, I mean vagina.
I like anal sex. Anyone who reads this blog knows that. I like things in my ass. Dildos, penises, small furry woodland creatures; basically anything I can get lubed up and in there. So when asked to choose a toy, I knew I wanted something for my ass.
I chose a pink set of anal beads with just about the worst name ever – Love Pacifier X10 Anal Beads. I hate it because I tend to not like to mix my sex life and reminders of post-partum depression. So I will call it a pink set of anal beads instead. Here is what they look like:
So I showed them to hubby and he and I agreed that they were cute, but seemed very small for an ass as experienced as mine. Who knew my ass was such a size queen?
But much as mom said not to judge a book by its cover, I should not have judged the pleasurableness of these beads by their size. While not providing the same sense of fullness as a bigger butt plug, or even a penis, they felt very good going in, and even better coming out.
We had sex in pretty much our standard married couple way. Face fucking, throat fucking, face fucking, throat fucking, and then fucking fucking. Except this time, he put these beads in my ass before he put his cock inside me. And then we fucked. Truly. Madly. Deeply. While he was fucking me, I had my fingers on my clit, and he had his fingers on the loop at the end of the toy. He would slowly tug it out, and push it back in. It was heaven. Finally, when he could tell I was starting to come, he pulled the beads out of my ass very slowly.
I have had long orgasms before, and I have had wavy orgasms before, but the pink anal beads gave me one of the longest, waviest orgasms I have ever had.
If you are seeking a feeling a fullness in your ass, you may want to stick to a bigger butt plug, or even an organic dildo (that is a cock, people!), but this toy provides a lot of fun when you want to experience the thrill of “the pop”, i.e. that moment when your anus expands and releases. The pop is one of my favorite parts of anal sex, and these beads are a great way to experience it! TheirToys also has other Anal Beads as well.
Score: 6 out of 7 passengers in the Minivan. Or 70 mph in the Minivan. Or 3 out of 4 tires on the Minivan. Something Minivan related. I liked them. I will put them in my ass again, and again.
Shut up. Its my blog and I can have any scoring system I want!
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