Long story short, I am dating a man who is dating another woman. Which is fine. Duh. Non-monogamy. But he has not told the other woman about me, and it bothers me. It skeeved me out, and I was having a hard time realizing why until some lovely poly friends pointed out that it was OK if I had expectations of transparency in relationships.
But the more I think about it, the more I dig into something else. I have some strange need for constant and aggressive self-expression. The thought of someone loving me for NOT me is terrifying. Probably because I am leaving a marriage where that occurred on some level.
But is this healthy? Do people HAVE to know everything about me within 5 minutes of meeting me? Can I learn to unfold who I am slowly, instead of beating people over the head with my personality?
No one could ever accuse me of lying about who I am or what I believe in – but is it pure egotism to be so aggressive about it?? I think this is why I have always loved drag queens so much. You know very important things about them instantly. No bullshit. They want to be loved, want to be looked at, and want attention.
Don’t we all?
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